Expand these Frequently Asked Questions to learn more.
What is a “Play Party?”
A “Play Party” describes parties where guests are allowed to have sex. You are not guaranteed anything by attending, and you do not have to participate. It’s basically a house party with a really sex-positive guest list who love not having to go home in order to have some sexy fun. We describe these events as high possibility, low expectations environments. Our play parties have a strong consent culture that keeps all of our guests safe and happy, which we discuss with all guests before their first event.

Our Play Parties are safe spaces for exploration. These are no-pressure situations: plenty of people come just to hang out and experience it, and that's great. Plenty of people come to play with everything that says yes, and that's also great. It’s like any amazing party: fun, excitement, and connection, with the added bonus that you don’t have to leave to fully enjoy the rest of your evening with the amazing people you meet.
I’ve never been to a Play Party before. Is that okay?
Yes! We welcome people who are joining us for their very first Play Party, and are curious to find out if this is for them. You won’t be alone, either — about 10% of the guests at any party are there for their very first event. We are happy to answer any and all questions that you have ahead of time — feel free to contact us. All levels of experience are welcome and present at our events, though you must be sponsored and accompanied by an existing member for your first event.
Can I bring my friends?
All attendees to the Organ House must apply and be vetted by the Hosts before attending any of our events. If you want a friend or date to join you, please have them fill out our application form and list you as their Sponsor. Please understand that by sponsoring someone, you are telling us that you know this person well, trust them in an intimate setting, intend to accompany them to their first Organ House event, and would stake your reputation and membership status on this person’s behavior. If you sponsor a person who becomes an issue at an event, both you and that person may not be invited back to future events. If you are unwilling to give this endorsement to someone, please do not sponsor them.
What’s the gender ratio at these events?
It’s usually pretty evenly split. We do not enforce a gender-ratio by selling different tickets to men and women, and we’ve never had an issue where one gender noticeably outweighed the other at our events.
I'm under 21, or over 45, and your application says “Persons over 45 must be accompanied by a millennial.” Does this really mean I can’t come?
If you are under 21, we will not be able to evaluate your application. However, we don't want you to be without the resources you need to navigate non-traditional relationships or to learn about safe sex practices! You can find a ton of wonderful information on www.scarleteen.com.

If you are over 45, we want to explain why having a generational safe space has been important for us:

Many people here are just starting to explore what sexuality, community & relationship norms are to them. These folks, especially young women, who found traditional play spaces sometimes felt preyed upon by older, more established people. A millennial-focused space prevents that tension and frees newer people to feel safe.

Second, of course there may be people from older generations going through this exploration, too! However, their needs may be different from the needs of someone discovering non-monogamy in their early 20s or 30s. If we feel that someone is a good culture fit and that what we are doing serves them, we accept them. If we can’t serve their needs, we try to help people find a community that can.

Lastly, we don’t make money doing this. We’re subsidizing the cost for people who may not be financially established enough to afford to experiment. We want to reserve those tickets for the folks who need them, and not undercut our friends whose bread and butter is hosting similar events. 
I identify differently than most. Am I really welcome?
Yes! Whether you’re genderqueer, trans, straight, bi, or simply you, you are safe and welcome here. While you probably will find yourself in a minority, you will also find acceptance, and that you shock no one. Plus, Gender Is Over-rated anyway. Some newer members may not have been around the scene for long enough to realize that it's rude to ask you 100 questions. We try to educate new attendees, but you may end up needing to politely ask 1 or 2 people to do some research for themselves. Ours is a safe place to begin the process of sexual exploration and educating oneself about the breadth of sexual and relationship orientations out there, so please be patient with the folks who are just beginning that journey.
I hear you have a female-focused event called Girlgy. Am I welcome there?
We have quarterly “Girlgy” events that are specifically for female and femme-identifying people. Will there be women at Girlgy? Yes! Are some of those women trans women? Yes! There will also be non-binary femmes at Girlgy!

All female and femme-identified peoples, or non-binary people who want a place to be fantastically femme, are welcome at Girlgy. Girlgy is a place for female energy.

Who probably shouldn’t come to Girlgy? Men (including trans men), and non-binary folks who would primarily present as men.

We understand that gender, sex, and presentation are complicated and deeply personal topics. If you feel strongly that Girlgy is for you but are struggling with how to be your authentic self in this space, talk to us!
Is there a dress code?
Nope. You don’t need to get fancy or spend money on a costume. Our events are always themed and about half of people really enjoy dressing up in a themed costume, but it’s not required at all. You’re welcome to just show up in jeans and a T-shirt. We do ask that you arrive clothed, and arrive discreetly, without drawing too much attention to the event.
Do you sell alcohol?
No. We never provide or sell alcohol at our events, but you are welcome to bring your own. We recommend sticking to wine and beer. Guests must be able to give and perceive consent at all times at our events. If you have too much, we will ask you to leave. Please don’t overdo it.
Do I need a ticket?
Yes. You must have a ticket to attend our events. (And we almost always sell out, so don’t wait until the last minute to get one!) We primarily sell tickets for crowd control and to cover our costs, but we don’t make a bunch of money off of these events. Our volunteers attend for free and we also provide an Industry Discount.
I’m a little short on cash. Can I get a free or discounted ticket by volunteering?
Yes. Please just let us know that you’d like to volunteer. Volunteers must show up on time for their shifts, and be sober and capable of handling their shift duties for the duration of their shift. If you are late or do not show, you will not be permitted to volunteer with us again. We also have an industry discount for people who help de-stigmatize sex on a daily basis. If you believe you’ve earned this discount, let us know and we’ll provide you with a discount link.
How can I get the Industry Discount?
We offer an industry discount to our friends on the frontlines who help destigmatize sex on a daily basis. That includes Planned Parenthood employees, sex workers, rape crisis counselors, sex educators, etc. If you believe you’ve earned this discount, let us know and we’ll provide you with a discount link.
How many people attend your events?
It varies, as the location for events also varies and each has a different capacity limit. Our largest event was almost 300 people, while our smallest events are about 60. An average party is 150 people.
Can I come alone to my first event?
No. New attendees must arrive with the person(s) who referred them, or a “Partner.” Attending with your referrer helps keep new attendees responsible for their actions. Partners can be a date or a friend and may be any gender. Have your Partner apply and list you as their referrer.
Just how “kinky” is this party?
Kink is around and welcomed, but it’s not usually the main event. We have some cool gear, including a St. Andrew’s Cross, a BDSM bench, whips, crops, restraints and spreader bars that are available for all guests to use. Please ask for assistance if you are not already familiar with how to use the equipment and we’ll show you! While you will see some bondage and one or two folks being led around by the collar, most of the party takes place in the cuddle spaces and non BDSM play areas. People talk, laugh, play twister, spin the bottle, devour our signature cheese platters, dance, and party all night.
Do you have hard points for rigging?
Usually, no. We host at different venues and private homes in the SF Bay Area, most of which do not have the infrastructure for rigging. We are working on finding more locations that include this feature. We will let you know if rigging will be an option ahead of time if you inquire.
What is the house safe word?
Red. What’s a safeword? Check this out.
House rules and hard limits
For everyone’s safety and to reduce our liability, we do prohibit certain activities, including but not limited to breath play, fire play, and watersports.
My friend applied but they didn’t hear from you. Why were’t they invited?
We do not approve all applications. We also don’t discuss our reasons for approving or not approving any specific person’s application out of respect for the privacy of all involved. It is not a reflection on the person who applied; there are many reasons why we might not approve an application, including but not limited to:
  • Applicant did not provide their full legal name on their application, which may prevent us from evaluating their application.
  • Something in their application made us feel that they are not a good fit for our community.
  • We do not know the applicant's Sponsor well enough yet, and so do not feel comfortable inviting them.
  • Applicant’s Sponsor has shown poor judgment with previous referrals, so we do not feel comfortable inviting additional referrals.
  • The applicant only has one Sponsor.
  • The applicant doesn’t know with whom they will be attending and appears to want to try to find a partner at an event. (Single people who are part of or connected to the community are generally always welcome, but this isn’t a singles bar.)
  • We are simply at capacity for new attendees and want to reserve remaining event tickets for longstanding members.
  • Applicant may have listed their age as under 21 or over 45. You can read more about our age policy here.
  • We are aware that applicant is related to an existing member (no one wants their sister showing up to their sex party.)
  • Applicant is a known consent violator. (This is the least likely scenario. Yes, even less likely than someone's sister applying.)
Have more questions?
Feel free to email us!